World News – USA – Southern Charm Recap: You’ve Got Crabs

don’t twist it; This was an episode about Craig. Yes, there were all sorts of other issues swirling around him – Pringle was unable to discipline his children, Kathryn tried again to rationalize her racist behavior without apologizing, and Michael continued to put his life at risk Looked for a moody woman who lets her dogs shit all over the house – but Craig was right there in the front and in the middle. I’m saying this because you might think that this episode was about the issues between Shep and Taylor and Austen and Madison’s recent breakup. You would be wrong. This is all about Craig.

Let’s look at Shep and Taylor first. She got COVID from hanging out with Shep and his idiotic friends Austen and Craig, who spent more time in bars with baseball caps on the back than masks on the front. When they were all tested, Shep was negative and he quarantined Taylor alone while staying virus free. Where did he send her to? That’s right for Craig.

When the quarantine is over, Taylor will be mad at Shep for not paying any more attention to her feelings of abandonment while trapped in a bachelor’s block that a pillow empire paid for. Where did these feelings come from? Craig! He was in there fueling their hatred with his pool cue (not a euphemism as Craig literally has a pool table instead of a living room sofa). . They wanted to break up, and all because their grudges were being massaged like an NFL team owner in a Florida mall.

For the record, Shep was absolutely right what was going on. He should have sent her elsewhere to get the virus out of her system (why this place couldn’t be her own apartment, I have no idea) while he stayed healthy. We still have no idea how COVID will react with a person, and luckily Taylor, Craig, and the blond ghost of a sorority recruitment chair that Craig is dating now all had a lovely mild case. Shep has a long talk with his therapist and she tells him that while he may have been right, he can’t be so blunt with Taylor. Just because he was right doesn’t mean he wasn’t a dick, so he does something very un-Shep-like and apologizes to her for not thinking her feelings were valid. Another plan by Craig was finally spoiled.

Most of what happens to Austen, Madison, and Craig goes under after the crab cook Patricia has on her rainy deck. All the boys come by on a damp summer afternoon and make cannonballs in their board shorts like they’re 14 pounds instead of 14 pounds overweight. (Except for Pringle who pounded me and now can’t stop. ) I’m at Whitney’s: a crab boil is always a stupid idea. It’s so much work, so much chaos, so much crackling for just one small piece of meat. It is not worth! Just do me a Californian roll and order me a cab while the rest of you pounding and pounding on that bullshit.

Madison and Austen officially broke up at the end of the last episode, but we learn from Austen that Madison is still sending him lines like, “I promise everything will be fine. I will hold your hand forever. “Okay, that’s bullshit. If she wants to break up with him, that’s fine, but these text messages are like a pilot light for Austen’s subregions. Just a little gasoline and the whole thing will blow. Austen is also out of shape because he finally got his Trop Hop beer in cans – although Patricia basically has to be forced to drink it – and he doesn’t get any credit from Madison for it. Even though he works hard, she still sees him as a simple party boy who can’t commit. But she still wants to hang out and be friends.

Craig hates all of this. Do you know why? Because this is basically a repeat of his breakup with Naomi from last season. Naomi thought Craig was a spendthrift, sitting around sewing his little pillows and not completing projects while they had their lives together. She eventually broke it off but was forced to be with Craig and his friends the whole time (hello, it’s her job) and he just wanted her back even though she was no longer in love with him.

This is why Craig reacts so viscerally to Madison talking to Austen. It has nothing to do with your situation and anything to do with his. He sees the same humiliation ahead of him and this time he can stop it, he can interfere. He tells all the boys – including Pringle, who says he’s too old to care about the guy code and will haunt Madison anyway – that he will talk to her and try to get her to release Austen, why not you baby, get his life out, why don’t you go baby cause you don’t really need him, you just let him down. (Whoo-hooo-hoo. )

What is funny, however, is that while Craig sits at the end of a pier and looks like Pacey’s older brother, he answers all of his own questions about Madison and Austen’s relationship. Madison asks him if it’s difficult to be back in the neighborhood where he lived with Naomi (where this quaint pier apparently is). . He says he’s not sad, just nostalgic for a happier time. Then he tells her he thinks this Nadine or Natalie or whatever real estate agent name she is. « Everyone tells you that you are going to meet someone and you won’t believe it until you do, » he says.

That’s it. That is exactly it. Craig doesn’t have to do any of this. Just let the universe take its course. Just keep the world spinning forward. Just let Austen fall out of love on his own and find his new love, a fitness influencer named Madison, who accepts him for who he is. Yes, he will feel the stab of Patricia telling him he was never good enough for Madison, but at some point he will realize she is right. So much in life – and love – is about timing. It’s about practicality. It’s about the right train arriving at the right station at the right time. But it’s always on time. There is so little romance in the person we ultimately end up with and Craig needs to recognize that and pass that on to Austen. He just needs to feel like the wind is lashing through his half-manicured hair on this colleague, making it nice and messy, but leaving every single strand exactly where it should be.

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Southern Charm, Austen Kroll, Kristin Cavallari, Craig Conover